Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize