sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
