so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
