I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
