Have you finally orgasmed yet?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
