And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
