At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Itβs like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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