Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am one with the molecules
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
