from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I think I just sharted jello shots
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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