So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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