I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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