Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
