my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
