So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
