Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
