Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
