She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
