his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She's the barista slut.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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