if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's Friday. Sex?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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