Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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