whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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