Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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