Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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