Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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