slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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