so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
