My nipple is on Facebook.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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