She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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