hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
two words: eviction party
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
