then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
