Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
