pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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