It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
