So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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