Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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