The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
