Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
