i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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