Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
