Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
