i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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