Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
