okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
