I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Two words: blizzard sex
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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