a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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