Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
