I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
