careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
