i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
