i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
